Resilience. That’s what people need. ‘We just need them to demonstrate more resilience’, said a frustrated client last week. As a result, I found myself asking: What does that mean? What does ‘be more resilient’ mean in the current environment?
Especially with the challenges people are facing. Some team members still in lockdown. Others with more flexibility. Some opting to take annual leave. Yet others not really wanting to because ‘there’s no-where to go’. In addition, the need to process all the change that is happening. Similarly, the need to lead our teams against a backdrop of uncertainty. Hence, I can understand if people react negatively to the call to ‘be more resilient’.
Despite the fact that most people would say ‘I don’t expect my leaders to have all the answers’. The perception of leaders, of themselves is different. It is possible that leaders don’t want to ask for help, because they think that everyone expects them to have all the answers. Subsequently, the internal dialogue starts around ‘they will think I’m incompetent or weak’.
In addition, some leaders tell us that they struggle with imposter syndrome.
Interestingly, Gallup.com have researched this and they summarise imposter syndrome as follows:
Despite your achievements, you wonder whether you are as talented as everyone thinks you are. You suspect that luck and circumstance, not your strengths, might explain much of your success. The anxious little voice in your ear whispers, “When will you be found out?” and, against your better judgment, you listen.
For this reason, leaders won’t ask for help. Just in case someone realises that they shouldn’t be in the job. However, as a coach, we can question whether all of this is true. Interestingly, whenever, I ask the question, the answer comes back. Simply, it is not true. People are worried or fearful, or uncertain. They are not an imposter who does not belong in the job.
Without a doubt, a little bit of coaching can assist here. Particularly to help people focus on their strengths. In addition, to quiet down the negative talk and build confidence.
On the other hand, asking for help is efficient. Especially if you are reaching out to the team to solve a problem. That old saying ‘a problem shared is a problem solved’ is really true.
With this in mind, you can take a coaching approach. Simply, ask the team ‘what options do we have?’. This is an excellent and efficient way of solving a problem. Furthermore, it builds collaboration. In addition, offers ideas that you may not have thought about. Alternatively, validates your thinking. Without a doubt, it also shares the load. Not only that, there is a lot of research that suggests that teams appreciate being included in decision making.
Interestingly, leaders say that they want their teams to ask for help. In addition, to speak up, sooner rather than later. Furthermore, they are confident, that if their team members ask for help, that the issue can be solved.
By the same token, isn’t it then incumbent upon a leader to role model that behaviour? To say that ‘it’s ok to ask for help’. In addition to demonstrate that behaviour themselves. Admittedly, it is worth thinking about.
It should be noted that our mental health is an important consideration in this topic. Without a doubt, experts, for example from Mental Health First Aid Australia and Black Dog Institute encourage people to seek help. With this in mind, they suggest that people should seek help for depression if:
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