What not to do during your coaching conversations

During our recent Coaching Café’s we’ve been focussed on what good coaching looks like. Particularly focussing on good coaching questions that make a difference. For our Coaching Café this week, we change tact. We look at what not to do during your coaching conversations.

If you watch the video, you will see Natalie and Brigitte try to do bad coaching. Both coaches been coaching for nearly 20 years. We think the result is hilarious. In addition, a cringe-worthy attempt at doing all the things we know we aren’t meant to.

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Starts out ok, but would not meet the ICF core competencies

Interesting, the coaching starts out sounding ok. The coach is planning to debrief a report. But very quickly the coach does several things are just not good coaching. Furthermore, if you think about the ICF core competencies, the session does not meet the competencies. In fact, if this was a coaching exam or your final coaching demonstration in your Certificate IV in Workplace and Business Coaching (10835NAT), it would be a fail.

Sounds like bad habits

Managers and coaches who have received coach training, will sometimes fall into bad habits. See if you can hear some of these habits in the conversation. For example:

The coach picks the topic for the coachee
Furthermore, tells the coachee what they think is important
In addition, stacking questions one on top of the other and not letting the coachee answer the questions.
Asking closed questions that create defensiveness in the coachee
And insisting on the goal.

The other trap that managers fall into is making suggestions. This often comes from a space of ‘I know best’ or impatience.

Furthermore, the coaching sounds quite judgemental. Particularly because the coach is asking ‘why questions’.

A worthwhile reflection

Even though you may be an experienced coach. We recommend taking some time to reflect. Particularly because I am sure we can all fall into one of these bad habits. For example, in our home life, cutting people off, rather than letting them answer the question.

In addition, if you are coaching managers to coach their people, feel free to take some time and listen to the webinars. And use them as a reflection opportunity.

And a good chance to have a laugh.

Our Leader as Coach program is also a perfect starting point. It has been updated and improved. Furthermore, is delivered in a short and sharp format. This maximises learning and implementation back into the workplace.

Enjoy your coaching.

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